Which I needed this week. I think This week would have to rank as one of the worse weeks on record. Now I am not going to drag up loads and loads of detail but let me give you the quick rundown.
Friday afternoon, my children come downstairs to head out to the other parent’s house for a week. Nothing too unusual there as we have been alternating through this extended quarantine in order to keep cabin fever at bay. In my typical approach I say, “See you two in a week when I pick you up.” And this is where it goes off. My oldest replies “Oh, I thought you knew. I finished classes today so I’m going to live over there now.”
For context, they had mentioned after summer break when they came home, that they would like to rush through and graduate early. Then move to the other parents’ house. Personally, I think this is a terrible idea, but they are 17 and this is something I have to let them work out themselves. No further mention of this has been made since. So, whether planes have been made, ideas figured out, I have no idea!
So, Friday, I have a total of one minute to wrap my head around this situation, get hold of myself, make a positive impression and send them out into the world. No time to make a cake, buy a card, have a fancy dinner. Nothing. Just “Oh sorry” and out the door. As far as a total kick in the teeth this has to have been one of the all-time greats. The claim is currently that they assumed I knew and understood, but all they took was a backpack of clothes and their Nintendo. Not sure that counts as actually moving anywhere.
Now I understand that moving out into the big scary world can be a daunting prospect and a certain lack of understanding and planning is normal. We have all been there. But no planning, no forethought, not even a bed with you. I mean at the very least you need to be able to sleep. But the reality is, they are not moving out into the big bad world. Not even a little. They are simply moving to the other parents house in order to not have to live in a perceived environment where they can sit around, have less chores and more video game time. This is not scary for them in any way. Which means they did not fail to come to me out of stress or any other real reason. They just did not consider me, or my feelings or any other ideas other than their own desires. And that is a very real, ridiculously hard thing to wrap my head around.
I am not trying to rant, and I am also not here to bad-mouth any of the other parties. They are entitled to do what they do without that, but I honestly feel slighted by the way this way handled and it will take a while to be able to put this aside completely as yet another punch in my grueling divorce drama.
In the end all I could do was watch snowflakes fall and let myself feel that moment of happy that snow always brings me.